6 Weeks Pregnant

Baby Snead is not loving me today at all.  I've been throwing up since last night and unable to do just about anything because the nausea is so intense.  Luckily it is a Saturday so I don't have to be anywhere, but that just increases my anxiety about having this happen during work.  Ugh.  Jeff has been great about getting me anything that I need and feeding the dogs and cleaning because I just can't stomach moving around.  Just looking in the fridge and pantry make me nauseous. 

6 WEEKS

Baby Size: Baby Snead is the size of a sweet pea. 

Craves: baked potato, mashed potatoes and anything bland.  Popsicles and french fries. 

Dislikes: meat of any sort and most everything else due to nausea

Symptoms:  nausea (which started at 5 weeks 3 days), vomiting, heart burn

Momma Weight: 131

Yep, those jeans are feeling tight already! 

First Day of School (Year 18!)

Another year has begun!  My room got some fresh paint and a green accent wall, but other than that it's pretty much the same.  The kids were good so far, but you can never really tell those first couple of days. Ha! 

5 Weeks Pregnant

Today I decided to bite the bullet and try to have some fun with the pregnancy instead of being in a constant state of worry.  :/  Jeff and I shopped for a maternity shirt that could grow with me and we purchased a few supplies a Michael's to make a sign that can change weekly.  We also looked at some baby gear and clothes which is so exciting to me even while I'm intentionally being hesitant.  

Eeeeekkk!  It's happening! 

5 WEEKS

Baby Size: Baby Snead is the size of an apple seed today. 

Craves: chocolate milk, juice, pickled beets

Dislikes: red sauce, meat

Symptoms:  fatigue, shaky/dizzy in the afternoons, crazy dreams, heart burn

Momma Weight: 132

Embryo Transfer!

Baby Snead, a five day old frozen blastocyst, was transfered on August 2nd!  

This was after weeks of birth control, lupron shots in the belly, and estradiol to improve uterine lining.  Most recently, I began progesterone shots in the hips and progesterone suppositories which are zero fun and continued estradiol three times a day.  Prior to the transfer we added in a steroid and an antibiotic. It's a full time job keep up with what medications to take and when.  I have developed bruised hips along with hives. Ugh! 

Here's just an idea of when the first round of meds started after being on birth control for several months:

Bloating and bruises

The transfer itself went smoothly and Jeff and I went home to relax the rest of the day.  There wasn't much I wanted to do after taking three valium!  I spent the next three to four days relaxing a lot by reading in the sunshine for 15 minutes at a time so I wouldn't overheat.  I could feel definite cramps and a gurgling sensation which was hard to describe but so strange!  We think these were all signs of implantation. 

Baby Snead at 5 days old

On August 9th after saying goodbye to sweet Tank, we took a home pregnancy test and and guess what?! It was just the news that we needed to start to heal our hearts even though neither of us wanted to allow ourselves to get overly excited. 

Yep, there are two lines there! 

 On August 11th, two days later and 9 days post embryo transfer, we decided to take another test to hopefully see the line darken and it did!!

It felt like an eternity to wait another two days, until August 13th to go in for my blood draw to confirm the results.  After waiting a couple of hours for the phone call while in meetings during my first day back at school, I got a call saying my hcg levels were 736!  Apparently that number is high and really good!  I was cleared to order more progesterone shots and suppositories and told to continue the estradiol and come back in two days for another blood draw.

On August 15th I went in for the blood draw and was told that they would like to see my hcg numbers double.  Again, back to school to wait and wait for the phone call.  Finally, at lunch time I got the call saying my numbers were in the 1700's so they had more than doubled!  Woot woot! We set up an early ultrasound for 6.5 weeks, which is August 29th, and now we have to wait two weeks which feels like FOREVER to go in and look for the gestational sac, fetal pole and fetal heartbeat.  Nervous? A little, just a little. :)

Since then there have been signs- wanting lots of dairy; ice cream, chocolate milk, etc. and some strange cravings like pickled beets?!  Meat hasn't been that appealing either.  I haven't been able to sleep well despite being tired.  I've had crazy dreams every night and I'm in and out of the bathroom.  And whether it is my blood sugar levels or fatigue I've been shaky and feeling strange from about 11:00 am to 6:00 pm.  The chocolate milk seems to help some, but even after eating sometimes it just continues.  I haven't really been nauseous except for a couple times in the middle of the night and I'd be just fine if that part continues!   Although the minute I don't feel a sign of some sort I immediately start to worry.  I'm guessing that part will continue until we meet him or her!  It still seems so surreal!

Poor Jack and Back to School for Me

Poor Jack has been sleeping in Tank's bed and carrying his toys around squeaking them.  I think it finally set in that Roonie is gone. :(  Breaks my heart. 

On the other hand, I am having tons of fun with our return to school meetings.  Not. 

Meet Frannie - our hummingbird that is constantly fighting off all of the others.

August 12th Nonsense

This weekend was the first anniversary of the Charlottesville nonsense that kept Jeff busy last year and guess what?  He was gone for 14-16 hours for three days straight and it happened to be my last weekend off.  Booooooo.  Luckily things stayed relatively calm overall. 

Rest in Peace My Sweet Boy

 Tank (Roonie, Tank-a-roonie, Tink-Tank) my sweet boy was taken from us suddenly yesterday. He had a traumatic seizure in front of Emily and I and then during the subsequent vet visit it was determined his organs were shutting down.  We had just gotten positive news about his lab reports so we thought he was going to be with us much longer.  Unfortunately, over the last week he lost his appetite and we could tell that he wasn't feeling well, we just didn't know how badly he was hurting.  

Eleven years was just not enough time for this little guy that acted like a puppy and went on a walk every day without fail even at the end.  I think this makes it much harder on us as he really continued to try to please us and act like he was doing okay.  He will forever be the most gentle, kind, sweet dog I have ever known.  His eyes, those eyes with so much expression, told a story that most people can not. He loved to give us slow, slow licks while we were petting him just to let us know how much he enjoyed it.  And that one ear that cocked to the side in a funny way and made him look so darn cute. He absolutely hated something on his back, even his harness.  He would scrunch up and walk like a crab when you first put his harness on for a walk which would always make us laugh.  Each night at bedtime no matter how sound asleep he was he would jump up and follow me to the bedroom and then dig around in circles in his beds until he got comfortable and wait for Jeff to give him his nightly rub down.  He followed me everywhere I went including to the bathroom room in the mornings when he would dig up the bath mats and find a spot to lay.

My trips to the mailbox will never be the same; he was my buddy without the leash that would run around the front yard and stretch out so his belly covered the warm grass while I checked the mail.  These were our special moments together.  And his toys, boy did he love his toys.  In recent years Marley destroyed most of them or hid them under the bed, but the excitement was there each and every time I would get a toy out and throw it for him.  He loved to run from us and show off his toy just until you got close and then he would take off again. If there were enough toys out he would grab every single one and pile them up around himself.

You don't realize just how many little things change when you lose a beloved pet.  There are no more long drawn out feedings and frustration when Jack and Marley would try to steal his food, but I would give anything to have those days back.  As his caretaker it is so difficult to let go of the routine of giving medications, saving him a bite of my oatmeal, grabbing his leash, petting him one more time after he pawed at our hands for more, wiping up water from his beard, and patting the couch for him to jump into my lap. Greetings at the door have changed dramatically without the tip tap of his little feet running around in circles and then patiently waiting his turn to be petted.  I find myself constantly checking under the dining room table or in the corner of our bedroom on one of his three beds (yes, three beds because he had to be comfortable of course) for his sweet face to return.  I pray that he is running beside his sisters, Maddie and Dixie, and sitting on my Dad's lap giving him slow, slow licks.  They all have a huge piece of my heart which is aching and broken. The only peace I can find is knowing that they are together again.

Tank 

October 29, 2006- August 9, 2018

So handsome

My boy

Sweet boys

One of his favorite spots

January 2007 after bringing home the puppies! 

11 weeks old

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First hair cut